NAKED MASSAGE

It’s been over ten years since I began offering professional erotic massage for women. Many have asked how I got started, what it’s like to combine therapy with sexuality, and why women seek sexual services from a man.
 

Around fifteen years ago, I heard about a workshop in London where men could learn to stimulate women sexually. The group accepted 20 male students who could practice for four hours with 10 women. The women would lie naked on massage tables, and the men received instruction and guidance from an expert. The expert was a world-renowned erotic masseur, and the course was already sold out. Hoping to participate anyway, I contacted the masseur, told him I was a writer, and asked if I could write about his workshop. He was open to the idea and, when we met at the event, he asked me to act as his assistant. When the participants arrived, I had to make sure they washed their hands and removed any rings that could cause issues during the workshop.

Once the workshop began, the masseur got very busy, and several of the participants started turning to me for instruction. As I had a fair amount of experience giving erotic massages to my partners, I found it easy to help. Afterwards, the masseur was pleased with my contribution and invited me to book a 1-to-1 massage training course with him.

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The Job as an Erotic Masseur

When my training was complete, the masseur invited me to assist him in his clinic in London when he was busy. I didn’t get paid for the work, but in return, I received more training and a wealth of experience. According to the clinic’s website, we offered erotic massage and sexual stimulation to women seeking a liberating therapeutic experience.
While working in the clinic, some of my friends asked whether I became aroused during the sessions. It’s a natural question. Some of the women were attractive, but the work itself never opened me sexually. As a demisexual, I only turn on if I feel a mutual emotional connection with a partner. With clients, I was open and caring, but also professional, and for this reason, an emotional bond never developed. Still, I greatly enjoyed giving erotic massages. I loved being able to create a safe, intimate space where our female clients didn’t have to relate to the sexual needs of a man.

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Therapy vs. Prostitution

While working at the clinic, I gradually realized that my teacher and I had very different approaches to the work. Regularly, he was flirting with his clients, and sometimes he’d take off his clothes and have sex with a client during a session. It always happened at the client’s request, but during sex, he usually became both horny and absent. As a masseur and instructor, he was highly skilled — but he lacked control over his libido, and in that sense, I considered him to fail as a therapist. When I brought up the topic, he became defensive, and soon after, I decided to end our collaboration. Instead, I returned to Copenhagen, where I set up a clinic of my own.

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Why Women Seek Erotic Massage

Over the years, many people have asked me why women go to an erotic masseur, and there are many reasons. Some women are pleasers who lose themselves sexually because they focus too much on their partner’s pleasure. For these women, being stimulated by a man who does not expect sexual attention in return can be deeply liberating. Some of my clients have experienced abuse and need a space where they can open up sexually while maintaining full control over the process. Others seek erotic massage because they work too much or are in sexless relationships and feel disconnected from their sexual libido. And of course, some women are simply curious and want to explore their sexuality in a non-traditional setting.
Before a massage, I spend time talking with the client about her preferences, sexual profile, boundaries, mental and physical health, and sensitivity. We also talk about whether she’s had negative sexual experiences, has been subjected to abuse, struggles with orgasm, or feels shame about her desires. If she’s nervous, she can remain partially clothed during the massage and decide if or when she wants to be fully naked. I fully understand that many women need time to relax and surrender. Most men have hidden sexual agendas, and a lot of these men present themselves as professionals.

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The Illusions Around Orgasms

There are thousands of videos online explaining how to stimulate a woman. In the videos, experts teach their followers how to lick, rub, massage, or caress until she screams in ecstasy. It all sounds great — but what’s often missing is the most important part. The truth is that every person is different, has different sensitivity, and different erogenous zones. One client might experience a part of her body as completely numb, while the same part on another client might be hypersensitive. Most people also have so-called anti-erogenous zones, and if you’re not careful, you can shut them down — emotionally and sexually. Some people prefer to get lost in their own world when they’re aroused; others want dialogue. For some, trust, empathy, and emotional connection are crucial. For these clients, the brain and heart are their most important erogenous zones. For others, a session is purely physical. Some prefer a firm touch; others are too sensitive for direct stimulation and want only subtle contact. I’ve even had clients who could orgasm if I blew gently on the right spot — or simply told them they were allowed to cum.
When it comes to orgasms, we often forget that everyone is different and that a lot of women are unable to have an orgasm. How an orgasm unfolds — and how intense it is — can vary depending on the time of day, the person’s mood, who’s doing the stimulating, where, how hard, and with what. An orgasm can arise from different parts of the body, and its strength varies. I usually talk to clients using a 1-to-10 scale, where 1 is a light tickling release, and 10 is the powerful, life-changing kind. It’s also important to note that there is a big difference between giving a massage and providing sexual stimulation. Massage involves flowing, empathetic movements that aim to release tension and create calm. Stimulation involves more mechanical motion and aims to awaken desire or reach climax. Some clients reach orgasm through massage alone; others want to combine massage with stimulation — either from me, from themselves, or with a vibrator.

Since I started working in this field, my approach and priorities have changed a lot. When I first started, I had most of my focus on stimulation and saw it as a success if a client had an orgasm. Today, I focus more on the sexual health aspect, but I am also open to providing stimulation.

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Sexual Experience Can Be a Disadvantage

If you watch videos online, you might get the impression that experience and technical knowledge are essential for good sex. But that’s often not the case.
Years ago, I had a lover in her 30s who had never had an orgasm. We had great sex, and despite all my knowledge of stimulating women, she never climaxed with me. At some point, she started dating a man who had very little sexual experience. After having sex with this man a few times, she had her first orgasm. He and she shared a deep emotional connection, and something about his insecurity made her relax and open up in a way she hadn’t been able to do before. His lack of experience wasn’t a problem — in fact, it was a benefit.
In some cases, being unsure, tentative, and curious is better than being professional, experienced, and confident. The key isn’t technique — it’s magnetism born from mutual attraction and love. Without that magnetism, stimulation can feel empty, irrelevant, or even harmful.
So, a “super lover” isn’t someone with perfect technique, but someone with whom you share the right chemistry and connection. This is also a central aspect in my work. If I meet a client and don’t feel the necessary mutual openness, I offer to help her find a masseur who’s a better match for her.