Advice on Open Relationships in Copenhagen

Most people who think of an open relationship believe that it is all about having sex with more people. However, many live in open relationships without ever having sex with anyone but each other. For these couples, an open relationship is first and foremost about mutual openness and being able to talk about all fantasies and desires without creating drama and jealousy. Having this kind of transparency with your partner often means that you relax more and feel freer. As a rule, this will strengthen both the relationship and the attraction to your primary partner, which frequently results in less desire for sex with others. Personally, I have been in an open relationship for the past 5 years without having any desire for anyone other than my partner. The fact that I can tell my partner everything also means that it becomes very easy to feel exactly where I belong.

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MORE PARTNERS

Many couples who want an open relationship have a specific desire to have sex with others. If you decide to go down that path, however, it is a good idea to start by being open with each other. Learn to talk freely about attraction, fantasies, jealousy, and insecurity before you begin changing the framework of the relationship. If you can handle openness with each other, it also becomes easier to handle openness with others.

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THE PURPOSE OF AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP

When people want an open relationship, it is often because they wish to explore aspects of their sexuality that do not naturally fit into a marriage or partnership. There is nothing wrong with having sexual longings for variety, adventure, or new experiences. Some experience that the desire has faded, and sometimes it can be re-ignited if a couple chooses to allow each other space for more sexual variation.

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PROS AND CONS

When a couple opens up their relationship, their psychological dynamics easily become visible. Often, this means that old emotional wounds resurface, or that you feel isolated or experience anxiety about losing the other. This can be painful, but it can also be therapeutic, making it easier to stand on your own two feet, thereby leading to personal growth and a deeper connection—both with your partner and with yourself.

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THE PROFILE OF MY CLIENTS

• They are seeking more sexual freedom and mutual honesty.

• They are already living openly and are looking for a guide.

• They are curious about trying an open relationship.

• One of them has become attracted to someone other than their partner.

• They have issues with jealousy.

• They feel sexually stuck and want to try something new.

• They wish to create more transparency in the relationship.​

 

WHICH MODEL SHOULD WE CHOOSE?

When I advise my clients on open relationships, it is naturally about finding an approach that suits them and their individual boundaries and wishes. Some want a static model that they wish to follow going forward, while others want a gradual exploration that allows room for their boundaries and desires to shift. Using a professional who stands outside the relationship can make it easier to form clear agreements that both parties are dedicated to following.

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MY BACKGROUND

Personally, I have +25 years of experience with open relationships and have lived in a myriad of different constellations. At the bottom of this page, you will find a link to the story of one of my earliest and probably most extreme experiences with an open relationship. You can also read more about open relationships and the questions clients frequently ask on our info page.