Libido problems and lack of desire in Copenhagen
What your desire tells you
Almost everyone experiences a loss of sex drive or sexual performance at some point in their lives. Your sexuality always tells an important story about how you feel and what you need. However, not everyone is good at listening to and understanding their body's signals. If you want to influence your sexuality, it is important to learn to listen to your body's signals. For many of our clients, problems with erections, libido or impotence or lack of desire are about the body trying to warn against something it experiences as stressful, unsafe or wrong.
On this page you will find a process that you can do with us in between 60 and 120 minutes. The purpose of the process is to help you feel your body's signals.
If you want to understand your body's pleasure signals better, you can search our dictionary, which covers the key concepts in this area. Go to the dictionary.
Why does libido disappear?
There can be hundreds of reasons why you lose your ability to perform sexually. This is a list of some of the most common reasons.
- Stress or mental overload.
- Performance anxiety, insecurity or declining sexual self-esteem
- Sexual immaturity or lack of experience.
- For fixed sexual routines and habitual sex
- Sensitivity to partner's expectations
- Fear of not being able to meet one's own expectations
- Inability to focus and disturbing negative thoughts.
- Medicine, unhealthy lifestyle and alcohol.
- An unhealthy and conflict-filled relationship
- Longing for a more experimental approach to sex and love.
- Sexual claustrophobia and need for sexual variance.
- That you have developed new sexual preferences that do not match your partner.
- Age and health
01
CONVERSATION
03
INTIMACY
02
WARMING UP
04
INTEGRATION
THE 4 STEPS OF THE PROCESS
A bodily approach to your libido
We work with a combination of conversation, development of body awareness, presence and sensory treatment. The purpose is to create a space that makes it easier to feel and understand your body's signals. A treatment with us takes between 60 and 120 minutes and takes place in four phases.
Phase 1 – Conversation
We start with an in-depth conversation where we talk about:
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how the problem manifests itself
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when does it occur
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what thoughts and feelings are associated with it
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how your relationship, your sexuality, and your life affect the situation
We talk about both the symptoms and the underlying dynamics.
Phase 2 – Warming up massage and conversation
You will then receive a traditional partially clothed massage (men receive from Maria and women from Carsten). The purpose is to help the body calm down and at the same time examine:
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how your body responds to presence and touch
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how your body handles relaxation, control, and tension
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whether there is restlessness, a sense of accomplishment, or emotional reactions
This part can also be combined with hands-on sexual education, giving you the chance to learn to touch with different types of intentions. Many clients already discover here how much their nervous system affects their sexuality, and can therefore come to an important realization.
Phase 3 – Sexological nude massage
In the third phase, you can choose to be alone with the masseuse, who works more directly with the body and sexuality through a nude massage that also includes your erogenous zones.
Here you can notice, among other things:
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how the body reacts to erotic energy
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whether desire, restlessness, tension or retention occurs
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how to handle anticipation, excitement and presence
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whether the body feels free or under pressure
When you have sex with your partner, you need to be able to manage both your arousal and your ability to perform. So you need to be able to both turn on and give your partner pleasure at the same time. In this phase, you have the opportunity to completely let go of the need to perform, which makes it easier to feel what your sexuality and desire are telling you.
Phase 4 – Integration and understanding
After the massage we talk about the experience:
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What did you notice?
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How did the body react?
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Did ignition occur – and how?
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When did you feel safe or unsafe?
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What patterns did you recognize?
The conversation helps you understand the connection between your sexuality, your nervous system, your relationships and your reactions. After that, we work on specific tools for your sex life.
The further work
How we proceed is of course about what you have felt during the treatment as well as about your life situation and your limits. Below are some of the paths our clients often choose to take.
Involvement of the partner
For some, a solution may be to be more open with their partner.
It can be about:
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Talking more honestly about thoughts and feelings
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To create a space free from performance and expectations.
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Making sex less result-oriented
Some need more calm, more presence, or more control over touch, intention, and pace. Others need to be able to experiment more freely without fear of failure. We have a lot of experience in this area and can help you with ideas on how to approach it.
Let go of the bad conscience
In our culture, there is often an expectation that a person should always be able to perform sexually and always have desire. This creates a lot of internal pressure. Sexuality is an activity between two people, and therefore the responsibility for problems does not always lie with one person. Sometimes it can help to talk to your partner about letting go of expectations and control, and other times it is about learning to stand up for your own needs, boundaries, and desires more. For example, if you are sensitive to expectations, it may be important to make a clear alignment of expectations before sex. If you need slowness or presence, the space around sexuality may need to be changed, and this should also be agreed upon before you have sex.
When the pressure is reduced, balance often gradually returns.
Development of more sexual clarification
For some, the process they go through with us also provides an opportunity to develop a new path to sexuality.
It can be about:
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to get to know the body better
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to discover new forms of pleasure
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letting go of old performance patterns
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to work with breathing and body awareness
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to develop greater emotional maturity
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to integrate desire, presence and intimacy
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learning to be in sexuality without having to “succeed” all the time
The goal of these approaches is to achieve a sexuality where the body, desire, and contact are allowed to be more naturally connected.
Dictionary of libido problems
Lack of desire
Lack of desire means that you experience less interest in sex, intimacy or sexual contact for a period of time. This can be due to stress, relationship problems, hormonal conditions, psychological strain or changes in life situation and well-being.
Decreased sex drive
Reduced sexual desire means that the desire is still present, but weaker than before or weaker than desired. Many people experience this at times throughout their lives.
Erection difficulties
Erectile dysfunction means that a man has difficulty getting or maintaining an erection in certain situations or periods. The problem can be psychological, physical, or a combination of both. Erectile dysfunction is very common and does not have to be a chronic condition.
Erection problems
A broad and more colloquial term for problems with erection, sexual confidence or arousal. Often used as a less clinical term than impotence.
Impotence
Impotence is an older medical term for persistent problems achieving or maintaining an erection. Many people today prefer to use terms like “erectile dysfunction” or “impotence” because impotence can be perceived as harsh or stigmatizing.
Erectile dysfunction
The medical term for persistent problems with erection. Used especially in healthcare and research. It can be caused by both physical and psychological conditions.
Performance anxiety
Performance anxiety occurs when the focus shifts from pleasure and presence to concern about performing, satisfying the partner, or “functioning properly.” It can affect desire, erection, and the ability to orgasm.
Sexual insecurity
A feeling of not feeling safe, attractive, or relaxed in sexual situations. Sexual insecurity can affect desire, intimacy, and the ability to enjoy sex.
Asexual
An asexual person experiences no or very little sexual attraction to other people. Asexuality is not necessarily a problem or dysfunction, but a natural variation in human sexuality.
Libido
Libido is another word for sexual drive or sex drive. Libido can vary greatly throughout life and is influenced by body, emotions, relationships and life situation.
Sexual dysfunction
A collective term for various challenges related to sexuality.
Premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation means that the man ejaculates sooner than desired and has difficulty controlling his arousal. The problem is very common and is often related to tension, stress or lack of physical control.
Delayed ejaculation
When it is difficult or almost impossible for a man to reach climax, even with prolonged stimulation. This can be due to psychological, relational, and physical conditions.
Erotic blockages
A broad term for emotional or physical patterns that limit desire, pleasure, or sexual freedom. May be associated with shame, stress, past experiences, or internal conflicts.