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Infidelity Counseling in Copenhagen

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COUNSELING AND CONVERSATIONS ABOUT INFIDELITY IN COPENHAGEN

The desire for infidelity is more widespread than the desire for monogamy

WHAT IS INFIDELITY?

Whether something is cheating is not about what you have done, but about the expectations you have for each other in a relationship. Some people experience it as cheating if their partner watches porn, for others it may be cheating if they talk to a certain person, and for some it is cheating if they have sex with others. Because the area is taboo, I often find that couples do not agree on exactly what they consider cheating. Therefore, I regularly experience that two people who have been together for many years have different definitions of cheating. In general, there are 3 types of cheating.

 

  • Infidelity in thoughts and dreams:

  • Infidelity in feelings.

  • Infidelity in actions.

 

Studies show that up to 90% are unfaithful in their thoughts and dreams. Even though we say we live in a monogamous culture, one can conclude that the desire for infidelity is greater than the desire for monogamy.

 

Infidelity is not always unethical.

Because the desire to cheat is so widespread, I don't think it makes sense to pathologicalize it and reduce it to something uniquely unethical and harmful. Most people have desires that don't fit into our monogamous culture, and many become stuck with a partner with whom they have an unsatisfactory sex and love life. Cheating can be defined as unethical, but it can also be about being stuck and trying to regain your freedom, dignity and desire. Read more about my unconventional view of cheating here.

 

THE PROFILE OF MY CLIENTS

My cheating clients come to me for a variety of reasons, but often fall into one of the following groups:

  • Have been (or are) cheating on their partner.

  • Have discovered that their partner has been unfaithful.

  • Have fallen in love with someone other than their partner.

  • Struggling with guilt and shame because of their desires.

  • Living in a sexless relationship and considering infidelity.

  • Want more honesty in their relationship.

  • Trying to rebuild trust after infidelity.

  • Seeking more excitement and sexual variance.

  • Missing affirmation and passions.

  • Bored in their relationship, but feeling locked in.

  • Turns on the forbidden and unethical about infidelity.

  • Have a desire that they don't want to share with their partner.

  • In addition to this, there are also many who want an open relationship. Read more here.

 

MY BACKGROUND WITH INFIDELITY

I have been in several long-term monogamous relationships myself and have both been unfaithful and had unfaithful partners. I know what it means to be jealous and afraid of losing, but I also know the longing for more freedom and variety, and I have experienced what a sudden infatuation outside of the relationship can do. When I talk to my clients, I can understand both the pain of being deceived and the desire to explore new intimate relationships.

 

Many people feel trapped in their relationships and use CHEATING as an EMERGENCY EXIT.

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ADVICE IN COPENHAGEN

HOW I HELP

When I talk to couples or individuals who are cheating, it is never about finding a scapegoat, but always about breaking illusions and seeing the situation from all angles. Cheating does not happen by chance - nor does it happen by chance, even though it may sometimes seem that way. When you start to understand the real reasons for cheating, there are always many important things to learn. My approach is always about bringing my clients to terms with reality and to understand that the strongest form of intimacy grows out of transparency and honesty. With that approach, I have often been successful in helping couples strengthen their relationships after one of them was exposed as cheating.

 

CONSCIOUS INFIDELITY

For many of my clients, cheating is the only way to a good sex life. Our conversations with them usually revolve around how they cope with living a double life and the problems it can create. We talk about responsibility, loyalty, guilt, consideration, and the dilemmas that arise when you cheat. In these conversations, I help them not only take care of their official partner and their secret partner but also take care of themselves.

 

There may be reasons not to tell your partner everything, but there are NEVER good reasons to deceive yourself.

 

FREE INTRODUCTORY CONSULTATION

Free initial phone call. If you or you are in a situation of infidelity, you are welcome to contact me for a non-binding conversation.

Email from an Unfaithful Client

“For many years I have been ashamed of being unfaithful to my husband. When I sought help from professionals, I could always feel that they were judging me – even if they pretended not to. I love my husband, but he and I have not felt like having sex with each other for many years. Despite that, he does not want an open relationship. With Carsten I was treated with great respect. His understanding and acceptance have not only helped me to have a deeper relationship with my husband, but also with myself and with my secret lover.”

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