OPEN RELATIONSHIP
More partners? Here you can find out more about our approach to open relationships and how we help our clients establish an open relationship. Carsten has more than 20 years of experience living in open relationships and polyfamilies. He has published a number of books on the subject and he and Maria have been in an open relationship since 2019.
WHAT IS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP?
An open relationship is based on both parties agreeing that it is acceptable to have other partners. There are, of course, hundreds of different approaches to open relationships. In some open relationships, the focus is on honesty, in some the focus is on feelings, and in others on sex. There are open relationships where you explore together and others where the partners explore separately. There are open relationships where you talk about everything and open relationships where you don't share details about what you do with others. Which model you choose depends on the sexual profiles of the people involved, boundaries, ability to handle jealousy, and much more.
ADVANTAGES & DISADVANTAGES
Open relationships require a high degree of self-awareness and the ability to handle jealousy or to communicate your feelings accurately and responsibly. An open relationship can provide increased freedom, the opportunity to explore new aspects of your sexuality, and mean that you become less dependent on one partner. On the other hand, there is a high risk of misunderstandings, emotional pain, and a host of problems can arise if you are unable to handle complex relational dynamics. If a monogamous couple chooses to open their relationship, it will be necessary to make up for their habits and expectations of each other. This can make both partners wiser about themselves and each other. Some will realize that their relationship was built on an illusion and others will discover that their relationship was much deeper and stronger than they thought.
Hurray! My Wife Is Pregnant by Another Man
Read one of Carstens popular stories on Medium.com about living the ultimate polyamorous lifestyle with a wife, two lovers, and two lovers-in-laws, but not knowing who was the father of my wife’s next child. FREE READING
THE CHECKLIST
Below is a list of some of the questions that form the basis of a conversation with clients who want an open relationship.
1. What is our motivation for wanting to establish an open relationship?
2. How do we think an open relationship affects our primary relationship?
3. What rules and boundaries should we have in relation to being with others?
4. How do we ensure that we are honest and talk about what is important?
5. How do we plan to handle it if one of us develops strong feelings for another?
6. How do we ensure that we communicate openly and honestly?
7. What rules do we have about safe sex?
8. What do we do if one of us no longer wants an open relationship?
9. How will an open relationship affect our family and our social life?
10. How do we take the first step out of monogamy?