HOW MONEY BOUGHT ME LOVE

This is the story of how I explored the life of a London sugardaddy while learning how money can buy love.

Maria works for me but on payday she always takes me out and spoils me like a good sugarmamma.

Money and Love

Once, a sex worker asked me for 200 dollars in exchange for sex. Transactional sex does not turn me on, so instead I offered her 400 dollars for love. My suggestion made her very upset, and before leaving, she told me that money cannot buy love.

Money is a powerful and addictive force, but when spent consciously, it can foster emotional depth, trust, respect, and freedom. So why not love? To explore this further, I decided to step into the world of sugardating. As a sugardaddy, I would be dating younger women while offering them financial support — an approach that would naturally create ideal conditions for examining the link between money and love.

To conduct my research, I chose London as my base. The city’s unique blend of wealth and cultural sophistication makes it one of the global hubs for transactional relationships. According to what I could read online, sugardating in London tends to be less about straightforward financial exchange and more about cultivating long-term companionship.

Companion Value

A sugardating relationship rarely unfolds organically. Once a sugardaddy has found a potential match, he must commit to a level of financial support before establishing a romantic or physical relationship. This approach creates a few complications, as it can be compared to buying a house after only seeing it from the outside. The size of his financial commitment depends on how the sugardaddy assesses a woman’s value as his companion. But that raises a delicate question: How do you measure someone’s value as a companion?

When I go shopping in a supermarket, I know how to evaluate the connection between price and quality. But as a novice sugardaddy I didn't have the same ability when going dating. To solve the problem, I created a scorecard with a structured list of traits I typically look for in a partner:

Besides the above, I was looking for a non-smoker who didn’t take drugs, and preferably one who didn’t drink alcohol.

The Perfect Female Companion

After setting up a profile on a mainstream sugardating site, I met potential dates for interviews while using my scorecard. If I invited the women for a good lunch at a fancy restaurant, most of them were willing to show up for an hour without financial compensation. According to my scoring system, several of the women turned out to have a companion-potential of zero. Some were hardcore prostitutes, some seemed to have emotional problems, and others had no idea what they were looking for — except money. After around ten meetings, none of my dates had received an average score above 7, but this all changed when I met Angelina. Not only did she score a clear ten in all twelve categories, but she was also a non-smoker who didn’t like alcohol and didn’t take drugs. When she was not studying art and design at the University of London, she was a professional dancer in a West End musical, played the piano, and spoke four languages fluently. Angelina had it all — class, looks, intelligence, and artistic talent.

“I’m definitely not a jealous person,” she said when addressing criterion number seven. “I decided to try out sugardating because I don’t have time for all the possessiveness of a conventional relationship. Besides this, I’m also attracted to men much older than myself.”

“How many sugar daddies have you had?” I asked.

“Two,” she said. “One was a global entrepreneur and billionaire, and the other was a member of the royal family.”

“Why are you not with either of them anymore?” I asked.

“Both of them were great to talk to,” she said, “but emotionally, they were very immature. They often tried to manipulate me to do things I didn’t want to do, but leaving a man who casually spends a fortune on you takes some willpower. It’s very easy to get addicted to a certain kind of lifestyle.”

Dating Out of My League

In most ways, Angelina and I were opposites. She was into luxury and a fancy lifestyle. I’m the kind of guy who prefers a tent in the forest to a five-star hotel. Despite our differences, we had great chemistry, and while we engaged in conversation, time flew. Our meeting was set to take an hour, but when we said goodbye, I realized that we had been talking for almost three hours. On the way home, I was overly excited, but also knew that I had a problem. Angelina not only represented the super league of female companionship but was also a high-maintenance woman. Even though I have a healthy economy, dating a woman such as Angelina seemed to be outside my financial reach. With her, I had become the middle-class guy going window-shopping at the Lamborghini dealer.

In the days that followed, I considered the situation further. Throughout my life, I have spent a lot of money on my dream house, travels, career, and car. Why not invest in the ultimate female companionship? According to what I could read online, an average sugarbabe in London expected a monthly allowance of around 3000 pounds. Offering Angelina 3000 pounds a month would surely be an insult. To analyze the situation, I talked to my accountant and looked into my financial situation. Without putting too much strain on my finances, I could offer Angelina an allowance of 10.000 pounds a month, but only for 6 months. Besides this, I could also pay our expenses when we went out together. She might reject the offer, but there would be no damage done in asking. In a message, I explained what I had in mind, and a few hours later, she responded and suggested that we meet for dinner to talk about it.

Safety versus Luxury Lifestyle

Two days later, we met at a classy restaurant in central London. As the waiter was guiding us to our table, most of the other guests sent us stolen glances. How a middle-aged guy wearing sneakers and a t-shirt could go out with a woman such as Angelina was naturally a mystery to everyone, except for Angelina, me, and my accountant.

“I didn’t think you would be interested in my offer,” I admitted while we ordered dinner.

“Your offer interests me in several ways,” she said. “My former sugardaddies spent a lot of money on gifts, traveling, and hotels, but they didn’t offer a set allowance. With you, I might not be living the ultimate luxury lifestyle, but I will be able to pay my bills. Your idea about dating within a limited period is also intriguing. Have you done this before?”

“No,” I said, “but I have often wanted to. I think all relationships should have an expiry date.”

“I can see what you mean,” she said. “Most people live in the illusion that their relationships will last forever. The idea of defining the length of a relationship before it starts is interesting, but I don’t know how I will feel when we split up.”

“Me neither,” I said.

“Hmm …,” she said, considering it, “but can we still meet when the relationship is over?”

“Yes,” I said. “We can meet as friends, but you will need to meet me free of charge.”

“Ok,” she said and smiled. “I’m on!”

“Great!” I said. “I will send you a proposal for the relationship contract tomorrow.”

“Relationship contract?!” she exclaimed and laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” I asked. “Sugardating is full of grey zones. Why not make the whole thing fully transparent?”

“I just never heard about a relationship contract before,” she said. “What will you put in the contract?”

In my bag, I found a sheet of paper listing out the headlines of a contract.

The Relationship Contract

1. Status: Open relationship. Both can date others.

2. Trial period: 2 weeks (both can stop the arrangement without explanation)

3. Frequency of meetings: 2 times a week.

4. Phone: No texting or conversations with others when being together.

5. Intimacy: No sex without genuine and mutual attraction, and only safe sex.

6. Breaking up: If we break up before the agreement ends, I will offer Angelina one month’s full financial compensation.

   
   

Areas that need to be defined:

1. Rules around discretion and privacy.

2. Pictures and posting on social media.

3. Contact person in case of an emergency.

4. Angelina’s duties within the relationship.

5. My duties within the relationship.

“I have never been in an open relationship,” she said after looking at the paper, “but I’m curious and want to try.”

“If you learn to enjoy an open relationship, it’s hard to go back to monogamy,” I said. “I will be happy to teach you everything I know.”

“What about sex?” she asked. “Do I consent to sex with you if I accept the contract?”

“Naturally not,” I said. “I’m a demisexual and can only turn on if we have mutual emotional attraction.”

“This all sounds great,” she said. “All relationships should have a contract like this.”

Financial high-altitude sickness

A few days later, Angelina and I had finalized our agreement, and during the following weeks, we met according to the contract while getting to know each other better. Angelina knew all about concerts, theatres, and restaurants, and usually decided what we did together. On a single date with her, I would spend more money than I would normally spend on myself in a month. In the beginning, this gave me a strange feeling of financial high-altitude sickness. All my life, I had worked hard to become financially secure. When spending money on plane tickets, hotels, and shopping, I usually go for the best deals. With Angelina, I had to do the opposite. From looking at money as something I needed to save, I had to change my perspective and think about it as something I needed to get rid of.

From Finance to Romance

During my first month with Angelina, we were rarely physical, but during the second month, we were in a theatre watching a musical when suddenly she took my hand. When the musical ended, we went home in a taxi. While sitting in the backseat, my arm was around her, and there was an emerging magnetism between us. Every time the taxi hit a bump, it felt as if she was moving a little closer. Just before the taxi stopped, we started kissing and had a hard time letting go of each other before saying goodnight.

During the next weeks, our relationship transformed into a romance, and while this happened, the dynamics changed. On several occasions, we left the city to spend weekends at spa hotels in the countryside. When introducing Angelina to friends and family, several told me that there is a thin line between sugardating and prostitution. As I see it, there is also a thin line between prostitution and conventional relationships. A huge percentage of married couples are not staying together because they are in love, but because they cannot afford a divorce. Money is often used to keep people trapped in lifeless and destructive relationships. At any time, I would prefer an honest sugardating relationship to a conventional marriage with no clear agreement about finances.

Not Knowing When It Ends

One thing that keeps most people in relationships is the fact that they don’t know when the relationship will end. When being in a relationship, you are living in the illusion that you are building up something that will last forever. In reality, most couples are only building up conflicts, frustration, vulnerability, and jealousy. If you were able to look into the future and tell all couples the exact date when their relationship would end, most couples would become frustrated and split up immediately. Suddenly being conscious of the end makes the relationship lose its appeal. Angelina and I were aware that we had limited time. Because of this, we didn’t take each other for granted. Being together was not about building up something for an unknown future, but about enjoying each meeting and moment to its fullest.

A few days before our contract expired, Angelina and I met for brunch in a café in town.

“It feels weird having to say goodbye in a few days,” she said, “but I don’t regret doing this either.”

“This might be the first loving breakup on the planet,” I said and took her hand.

“Yes,” she said and smiled. “When I started sugardating, I thought I was looking for financial support, but in reality, I was looking for someone generous. Someone who wanted to spoil me and take care of me. As you are not a billionaire, you made a huge sacrifice to do this.”

For a moment, we looked into each other’s eyes.

“I love you …,” she said, giving my hand a squeeze.

“I love you …,” I said before leaning forward, kissing her.

The Post-Relationship

During my six months with Angelina, we never had any negative experiences together, no sign of disrespect, no jealousy, no fear of losing, and no frustration. If we had been together as a conventional couple, the relationship would have developed much differently. After an initial romance, our emotional autopilots would have taken over, and attraction would have faded. What Angelina and I had established during our time together was much stronger than a conventional relationship. This was love detached from the urge to own and control, and our connection had been initiated by money.

About a month after breaking up, Angelina called me and invited me for dinner. At this point, she had found a new sugardaddy, and I was in an open relationship with another woman. Still, the space between us felt great. After dinner, she told me that her current relationship was monogamous, but she was considering having an affair. If I wanted, we could go to my place to spend the rest of the evening together. This was the first time we had the chance to explore the dynamics of lovemaking practiced outside the boundaries of a transactional relationship. As I had imagined, neither of us felt any difference at all.

“Most people think that money cannot buy love,” I said while we cuddled in my bed, “but through this experiment, we have proven that this is not true.”

“You are right about that,” Angelina said and laughed, “but you cannot buy love if you only have money.”